I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield Funny #Crime #Funny #Humour
The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache. Marjorie Pay Hinckley Wisdom #Humour #Wisdom
Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way. Charles Bukowski #Humour
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons. Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy #Humour
Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear. Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay Funny #Boggs #Finnick #Funny
Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around. Charles Bukowski, Barfly #Humour #Misanthropy #Paraphrased
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt Humor #Deadlines #Humor #Humour